Introduction
What does ministry burnout have to do with our teenage years? Well, let me tell you…
When I was a teenager, friendship meant everything. I am a very loyal friend and am quick to come to the aid of those closest to me. This mentality was forged through my emotionally intense, highly awkward teen years. My friends were my whole world and I assume it was the same for you. This meant that whenever one of them was in trouble I would drop everything to help them out.
Now, being a teenager, everything is intense and feels like the world is on the line. I remember a few times when the call for help was something serious. Maybe a friend had their boyfriend/girlfriend break up with them. Their parents were getting a divorce. A couple of times they had been in an accident.
Most of the time the trouble was someone needing help with an assignment. A few times the Mt. Dew was running low but they were on World 8-2 of Super Mario and needed a refill. At the time it meant the world. Looking back I laugh at how trivial so many of those things were.
Yet, time and time again, I would respond and be ready for whatever came. I was there to be a shoulder to cry on. A work project needed a helping hand, I was there. You needed someone to throw down by their side, I was their guy.
I am sure I am not alone in this. Over the years, I’ve had exceptional friends who stuck with me responding when I was in trouble, and I am sure you have too.
But, does that remain the case as we get older though? Are we at the ready when a friend is in need?
Depression Is Very Real
Recently, I asked Matthew Newell (see his professional page) to write an article on mental health, his area of specialty. His article Why Leaders Should Learn About Mental Health really made me think about how many of those I talk to are struggling with their own emotional and mental health and have no one to talk to.
Newell pointed out depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). This manifests as anxiety and depression and it affects over 18% of Americans. There is a good chance it is impacting someone you work with every day. Could even be you.
Pastors Are Vulnerable
Many reading this are pastors and we often have other names for our anxiety and depression. We call them busyness and weariness. We brush it away as being worn down. Dismiss it as part of the job or just a normal state of being. A lot of times we keep it to ourselves because we are too busy helping others with their problems. We say no one understands the position we are in because they haven’t sat where we sit. No one has experienced what we have experienced. The worst is when we tell ourselves we need more faith in God, which just piles on the guilt and pain.
When the truth of the matter is, we are hurting, we are lonely, we are lost, and we desperately want someone to step in and take over so we can simply have a break. We want to go lay our heads down for a bit and let all the troubles wash away. This is a sign ministry burnout is knocking on the door.
That can be a scary place to be, and I want to encourage you that if you are in this place and feeling the weight of the church, the organization, your community, and everyone around you pressing down on your shoulders, then find the strength to ask for help. It may not be easy but find someone.
You are Not Alone
If you feel that your circumstances as a ministry leader, or as a leader of any kind, do not allow you to talk to someone and you need a person outside of your world of influence, I am always here. Send me an email at this address and I will be happy to discuss things with complete discretion. I am not a counselor, so I defer to the professionals, but I can be a listening ear to hear your heart.
Ministry Hackers helps ministry leaders specifically deal with the rigors of ministry. For over 20 years of ministry, I have witnessed the pains, hurts, disappointments, frustrations, and desperation that have led to moral collapses in extreme cases and complete ministry burnout.
That’s why not too long ago I wrote that Ministry Burnout Can’t Be Ignored. The struggle is real, and I am saddened by the number of people who are reading this right now and struggling with anxiety and depression and feel they have no one to talk to.
Understand that when stress and anxiety are left alone to grow in the darkness of your privacy, they become overwhelming shadows that engulf you. This causes you not to function the way God has designed you to. You begin to slip into survival mode and cease being effective in your ministry, your home, and even your personal care. You are experiencing ministry burnout and you need to do something about it quickly.
Maybe you don’t struggle with anxiety or depression, but watching someone close to you struggle, it is time to respond. They may not be verbally asking for help, but their actions are communicating a need for help.
Be a Hero, Quickly
When we were teenagers, a call for help was an immediate response to come to the aid of our friends in need. We would drop everything, we would rush to their sides, and we would do whatever we needed to help our friends. I guarantee you have someone around you in need of help, and I want to encourage you to keep your eyes open and be quick to respond.
Be quick to jump in and provide a shoulder to cry on. Be ready to be a listening ear and a caring heart. If your friend is struggling with depression or anxiety, now is the time to engage and be there.
Leadership is tough. It is challenging. It is difficult.
But people’s lives are changed making it rewarding and filled with surprises.
Don’t allow stress, burnout, or any sort of trouble to rob you of that opportunity or rob those who are close to you. At the first signs of ministry burnout, you rush in, you love unconditionally, you make the hard stance when it isn’t popular, and you rush to the side of your ailing friend.
Your 12-year-old self will be so proud of you!
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