Being a pastor is constant! You feel like you are never going to get ahead and even on the days you check off a ton of tasks, it only scratches the surface of everything you need to do. You need a break, but how?
When? What pastors have time for breaks?
Taking a mental break is possible, and today I am going to show you how you can take a short mental break every day that will breathe new life into you and relieve some of the stress and overwhelm you feel.
5 Simple ways you can take a mental break every day is by spending time in prayer and worship, reading a positive note someone wrote you, taking an extended walk, writing a list of blessings, or calling an old friend.
Let’s unpack these simple ways you can accomplish a break every day in the middle of your busy schedule. By doing these you will have a clearer mind, a calmer presence, and stronger decision-making abilities.
Pastors Need Mental Breaks
“Pastors aren’t Superheroes.” This quote from the book The Flourishing Pastor captures it all. As pastors, we have this tendency to feel like we are superheroes, or at least that we need to meet an expectation others have put on us to be superheroes.
We desperately want to honor God and the calling he has placed on our lives, and we want to serve people well. These internal desires coupled with external pressures we feel from congregants, leaders, our communities, and countless others create this feeling that we have to be the superhero to save the day.
What we know in our heart of hearts though, is that we are simply human. That isn’t a negative though. Being simply human is something to be celebrated and rejoiced over. Why?
Because our humanity is a reflection of our Creator and a reminder of our need for Him. Our humanity is what grounds us in our reliance on our Savior and draws us to the knees of our King. And this is a beautiful thing.
As pastors, we spend too much time trying to do it all, have all the answers, and accomplish all the tasks and it often leads to the detriment of our personal lives and ministries.
Being a pastor can be a demanding lifestyle. We have to be intentional and mindful of taking breaks, pulling away, and allowing ourselves to recoup from the demands of our days.
The reality is that pastors do not get to leave work at the office. When you walk out the doors and go home, your role as a pastor is only put on pause. Just like any other civil servant such as a police officer, firefighter, or medical provider, our roles continue on even when we are away from the office during off hours.
Before we get into the ways to take a mental break, let’s look at a few signs that you are a pastor in need of a mental break:
You Can’t Focus
when you sit down to get your work done, write your sermon, or even do some studying, you have a hard time zeroing in on what you are trying to do. You start to feel jittery like you should be doing something and there is this strong desire to get up and busy yourself again.
Your Relationships Are Suffering
Often the people closest to us get the worst versions of ourselves. When we are feeling stressed and overwhelmed it is our spouse and children who take the hit. Whether it is being short with them, impatient, or distant and detached, our relationships take a hit when we are carrying too much on our shoulders and need to take a break.
You’re Showing Physical Signs of Stress
As pastors, we can go years without a vacation, carrying a breakneck speed of ministry week after week. It is easy for us to not pay attention to our physical condition and miss the warning signs we need to take a mental break. Behaviors like sleep problems, excessive fatigue, high blood pressure, and indigestion are just a few.
You’ve Abandoned Self-Care
Workout pants and baggy hoodies are amazing when you are wanting to relax and unwind, but not necessarily great daily attire. When we are stressed and overwhelmed though, they can become the cacoon we hide in. When we feel the waves of stress crashing around us, we slip into survival mode and don’t want to deal with the demands of self-care. This can be anything from grooming to our diet to our physical activity. If we have stopped caring about how we look, what we are eating, and our exercise then it is a warning sign we need a mental break.
You’re Running on Empty:
Bilbo Baggins said it best, “I feel like butter scraped over too much bread.” This is what running on empty feels like. You keep going through your days, but you aren’t really sure how you are doing. Decisions are being made, meetings are being had, and you are somehow conjuring up energy. At first, you feel like you are a superhero, but it doesn’t take long before you feel like you can’t keep up the pace even though you know you have to. You are running on empty, and it is time to recharge and take a mental break.
If you can raise your hand and say ‘yes, I am dealing with one of these five issues’ then you need to read on and explore these five ways you can take a mental break every day.
How to Take a Daily Mental Break
Taking a daily mental break is simple, but not always easy. Depending on how much control you have over your daily schedule, this may be difficult to do at first, but remember it is vitally important and worth every ounce of effort you can put into making it happen.
Taking a daily mental break does not have to be complicated. Here are guidelines I would suggest following to make your daily mental break happen so you can refresh yourself.
- Keep it Short and Focused: do not drag it out and allow it to slip into a check out session. 10-20 minutes is sufficient to accomplish what you need without disrupting the flow of your day and the demands you have on your schedule.
- Schedule it every day: it may move up and down a bit based on the demands of your schedule, but your schedule needs to be built around it. Become diligent and protective of this time. Remember, this time you give yourself will reap many benefits for you, your ministry, your team, your family, and your community.
- Hide Away: Okay, so I am being a little facetious. A little. You need to shut off your phone, computer, and tablet. You need to put a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on your door. Let your assistant, team, and whoever else is in the building know that you are offline for a little bit. If you have to, give one person emergency access to you, but everyone else just ignore. Otherwise, it will never happen and you will be interrupted to the point of abandoning the practice altogether.
- Choose a Technique Below or Rotate Through Them: Do not go into this time without a plan. This will guarantee you won’t follow through. Instead, pick a technique below to use and when you’re mental break time begins you will be ready to go and won’t waste time asking, “what should I do?”
Now that you know how to make it happen, let’s see what you can do during your mental break time.
Mental Break #1: Prayer and Worship
I know, I know, this feels like a cliché, but before you jump to the second technique, hang here with me for a minute.
As you know, prayer and worship are central to our lives as Christians. It keeps us connected with God, keeps our relationship with Jesus fresh and alive, and helps us stay grounded in this crazy world. The importance of prayer and worship is not in question, and I am sure you do both in varying amounts during your week. However, are you doing it for yourself?
The trap we run into as pastors is that all of the aspects of our relationship with Jesus that we need for our own spiritual sustainability easily get wrapped up in our vocation as a pastor and our service to others. It happens gradually and often times we don’t even realize it.
Our times of prayer and worship become focused on praying for others, praying for the church, praying for our communities, and even praying for our families, finances, and friends. We forget to pray for the condition of our own hearts. We forget to praise Jesus for his provision and his blessings.
When you are taking your daily mental break your focus is on you and your recovery. This means it is okay to focus on your relationship with Jesus alone. Pray about the things that are on your mind in your personal life. Pray that God protects your heart, keeps your from temptations, strengthens you for the task he has called you to, or that he will send others to help carry the load.
Worship your savior and all his splendor. Keep your mind from drifting and wandering. Allow the music to wash over you and lose yourself in God’s presence.
Tune your ears to His voice and listen to Him talk to you. Be intimate and focused on Jesus during this short period of time.
By spending time in prayer and worship during your mental break, you will reconnect with Jesus in a personal and intentional way, and that will bring clarity, peace, and a sense of your humanity back to you. You will remember it isn’t all up to you, and that God chose you to partner with him, not the other way around.
Mental Break #2: Read a Positive Note
Hopefully, you have some. Whether it is a card someone sent you, an email someone dropped in your inbox, or even a letter that found its way into your hands, read the words again.
As pastors, we can get a lot of criticism and second-guessing. No matter what decision we make, someone is upset, maybe even offended, and could possibly be looking for another church right as you are reading this.
First, let them go if that’s the case. Second, pull out something you have received with a word of encouragement, love, gratitude, or admiration and read it. Again. And Again. And Again.
We need to be reminded often that people really do appreciate the things we do. And those that appreciate it are not as vocal as those who don’t appreciate us. So, if you get a card during Pastor Appreciation Month, or a letter, or a voicemail, or whatever, save it in a file and bring it up during a mental break to read or listen to it over and over.
This isn’t vanity or ego-stroking. It is reminding yourself you are doing good work and people appreciate you. This recognition and reminder can serve as energy to continue on. It can combat those words of discouragement or the feelings of inadequacy we heap on ourselves.
Take the time to read the words, internalize them, and accept their message for you. Someone felt it was important to take the time to get it to you, honor their effort by taking the time to let the message sink into your heart and encourage you.
Mental Break #3: Take a Long Walk
Living in Virginia Beach is wonderful because I can go down to the beach and walk along the shore or on the boardwalk and just take in the beauty of God’s creation while letting my body enjoy being in motion without rushing.
As a pastor, I find that I spend a lot of time sitting in front of my computer during the day or rushing to the next thing. I don’t really just stroll along at a relaxing pace.
Maybe that’s what you need for your first mental break. Maybe you need to just go on a long walk. Now, you may not have a beautiful beach as I do or a forest. A lonely dirt road? A rolling glen? Maybe you just don’t live in Middle Earth. But, what about a park or a nice part of the city? A riverwalk?
Find something in your community that you can get to relatively quickly and easily and go on a 15-20 minute walk. Take in the fresh air. Feel your legs in motion pushing you through the environment you are in. Enjoy it as your lungs expand and contract and you feel life flowing in your body.
Taking a long walk can be incredibly therapeutic and quickly remove you from the demands of the day. Within a few steps, you can feel your mind untangling and your heart relaxing. You may even feel the stress and overwhelm roll right off. This may become your new favorite thing to do as you gain focus and feel refreshed afterward.
Mental Break #4: Write a List of Blessings
We may not be overly worried about our list of cursings, but sometimes we can become too focused on our list of grievances. Our list of frustrations. We may have a very detailed list of wrongs we have incurred or a growing list of complaints.
But, when was the last time you dusted off that list of blessings? Where you took the time to write down the ways God has provided for you, blessed you, and taken care of you.
Even right now, today, in the midst of overwhelm and frustration, there are countless blessings you are enjoying that you aren’t taking the time to count let alone focus on.
Feeling overwhelmed can be related to our feelings of lack and a sense we don’t have enough. We are operating from a scarcity mindset and we need to shift back over to an abundance mindset. The mindset that remembers God’s great provision, where we understand all the wonderful bounties we do have, and where we are grateful for what God has given us.
For your mental break, sit down and make a list of everything God has blessed you with today…this week…this month. Once your list is made, take some time to verbally thank Him for what He has given you, and maybe even take a minute to repent for taking Him and His blessings for granted.
Mental Break #5: Call an Old Friend
“New friends are silver, but old friends are gold.” I read this on a magnet once that told me what my name was all about. Though I am not sure how accurate that magnet was about me, this phrase certainly resonated with me.
As pastors, it is easy to get caught in the here and now. We are focused on the people right in front of us. Spending time building relationships with congregants and community leaders to advance God’s kingdom. Shaking hands and kissing babies to show God’s love and our church’s dedication to serving others.
But, there is something refreshing about getting on the phone with an old friend. Dropping a line to someone who knows us from years ago. From an era before you were a pastor. Before you had a position of authority. Before you did anything important, or even before you were a person anyone thought you were capable of doing something important.
Friends who have a broader perspective of us can be refreshing. We don’t have to put on a facade. We don’t have to pretend…even a little bit. We don’t have to convince them we are something we may not be. We can just be…ourselves.
There is something with connecting to an old friend that anchors us in a reality where we aren’t superheroes and we were just us. It is as if we are a ship caught in a blinding storm but we follow the anchor chain back to the harbor where it is calm, safe, familiar, and everything makes sense again.
A conversation with an old friend can be that harbor for you. Pick up the phone or drop in a video chat and spend some time with an old friend. Doesn’t have to be long, but it will probably be incredibly meaningful. You will wash off the stress of the present for a few minutes with a friend from the past.
Conclusion
People are counting on you every day to come through. Your congregation. Your community. Your family. Your God. At first blush, that can feel overwhelming. But, we don’t have to do it alone. We are human and we are vulnerable. We need to rely on others to help us out along the way and carry some of the load.
We also need to give ourselves a respite. We need to pull away for a short period of time each day to have a mental break and recover from the demands we carry on our shoulders.
Start building in mental breaks to your everyday schedule to make sure you have the time you need to be calm, relax, and reconnect with your Lord who makes it all possible.
